FOR THE OVERWORKED,
DON'T SCROLL !
My website is a blast, but you're busy so you can fondle the lozenge below to go right to my form and get on with getting it done...or, you know, scrolly McScrollface. You do you.
YOU’VE GOT 12 BILLION PROJECTS AND THEY’RE ALL ON FIRE.
Because success is a bitch. You need to hire somebody but you’re too busy dry-running a new billing system, prepping for an audit, and filling in for Jenkins. You’re staring at the deadline for a thought leadership piece for a persnickety client but it’s just a dead screen. You need five goddam minutes when nothing’s exploding and I don’t know if I mentioned the cats, but you’re juggling them.
It would be nice, really nice, if you could scale-
YOU JUST NEED ONE MORE PLAYER IN THE BAND.
That’s all you need. And not for long—just to write these four posts about [niche topic] for [your third favorite client]. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK!? But you already hired the best people you know and Jeebis Grammarly Crass, by the time you interview new ones, you could write the damn thing yourself. GAH! You just need a writer on standby. A ringer. A unicorn old-school hack who turns your texted briefs into pure gold.
Well, lucky for you…
HERE’S A LITTLE SECRET ABOUT CONTENT.
The most important quality isn’t how it scores on Yoast or where it lands in the SERPs. It’s not the research that goes into a great blog post, and it isn’t the quality of the writing. Hell, it’s not even about how well it informs. What matters is how the reader feels. All the other stuff lifts their finger to hover over the CTA button–but it’s how they feel that persuades them to click.
BUT GETTING THEM THERE TAKES WORK.
I don’t write a great post so much as build one. An enormous amount of work goes into each and every line. It is arduous and exhausting and I cry a lot. Sometimes I just stand in the backyard and stare at the sky. I drink. I drink a lot. But you get a post that rises in the SERPS, finds the readers you want in the place where they are, then captures their feelings perfectly…
WHICH IS PURE HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY FOR NEW AND EXISTING CLIENTS
Which is good for you. Because it’s not insomnia that keeps you up at night—it’s client acquisition and retention. They come to you for one thing: to make them look good.
Which means making your clients feel good which means making their clients feel (drumroll please)
I’LL FIT RIGHT IN.
Because your people are a crew and they don’t need some weirdo new guy barging in and swapping all their metaphors for semaphores. Neither do you. The benefit of vintage consultants is experience and game. I love being part of a team. I know how to fade into the background and deliver white label content that makes your brand shine like the noonday sun.
SEAMLESS COLLABORATION
A.
Email, call, or text to tell me what you need and when you need it. I send you a simplified contract and SOW.
B.
I do the work. (I could write more but the fact is you need the work so I do the work. End of story.)
C.
You get two revisions, then the job is turned in, perfectly rendered in whichever format you require.
HERE ARE THE PROVEN RESULTS I WAS TALKING ABOUT
Astonishing Open Rates
My Substack emails have a 42% open rate and a 2.4% engagement rate.
Incredibly Sticky Stories
My readers are on the page between 4 and 7 minutes, which is money for clients depending on ads to make bank.
Raging fans who engage
Developing niche sections for identified segments meets readers' needs and builds community on site.
READY TO ADD SOME OLD SCHOOL TO YOUR TEAM?
Let’s do this old school: call me at
(773) 480–0121
Email me at:
bullgarlington@gmail.com
or scroll down to fill out formy mcformface…
Damn. Good. Writing.
BULL GARLINGTON
Damn. Good. Writing.
Made in chicago
