BULL GARLINGTON | FAT IN PARIS!
Terrifying Tales of
Abject Failure Abroad!
CAUTION:
this book contains scenes
of inadvertent camel abuse,
conspicuous tourism, sniveling, a
lurid account of testicular
damage, a nearly unbelievable VERY
DETAILED story of losing control of
one’s bodily functions, way too many
footnotes, a plague of scorpions, and
the Mormon Tabernacle Choi
NO CAMELS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BOOK
A complete idiot travels abroad in search of the perfect vacation. He fails to find one.
But the author was. He fell off a camel on the way to a Bedouin camp behind the pyramids; he was nearly burned alive in an Alabama boat fire; he ate rate soup on the Playa Major; he was attacked by bats in a Mexican cenote; he was, briefly, shark bait off the coast of Belize; nearly died from heat stroke on the Nile; and was savaged by a swarm of elderly Japanese women in a men’s room at a gas station somewhere in Spain. Starting from Chicago, the author visits nine countries and various states with his significant [attorney] in an attempt to have a perfect vacation. It never works, but that doesn’t stop him.
The result is a hilarious f-bomb of a travelogue. Garlington holds nothing back, showing the maddening side of international travel without an Instagram filter. Readers will learn nothing useful about the cities he visits, nor will they use his book as a guide. It is more of a roadmap for ruthless schadenfreude as we watch helplessly while Garlington fails himself into a brick wall time after time. Written in a style reminiscent of a Bill Bryson if he were a rampaging drunk, or Anthony Bourdain, if he cussed less, Fat in Paris might be the funniest travel memoir in the last ten years.
REVIEW EXCERPT: “Loved it! Garlington is a thinking person’s lowbrow humorist.” —Gregg Sapp
FROM READERS: “This is the type of memoir that made me sad to come to an end because it was such a non-stop ride, and non-stop laughter. This is the kind of book I’d easily recommend; bestow as a gift at xmastime; and make me look up what else you’d written so that I could consume more.” —Courtney Childers
No slides. No notes. No problem
Bull Garlington is an award-winning B2B writer, author, and professional keynote speaker with over 20 years of experience delivering high-performing content for corporate audiences. As a solo worker for two decades and the author of the decade-long column Analog Attorney for Attorney at Work, Bull has established deep authority on overcoming digital overwhelm, mastering communication, and reclaiming professional focus.
Best known for his sharp wit and off-the-cuff storytelling, he has authored multiple books, including the travel narrative Fat in Paris, and has delivered high-impact keynotes for major financial services client appreciation dinners. Bull brings a refreshing, completely unplugged approach to corporate events across the Great Lakes region—proving that the most magnetic communication requires zero slides and no safety nets.
Signature Keynote Programs & Speaking Topics
- The Analog Architecture: Reclaiming focus, relieving digital fatigue, and boosting operational efficiency using tactical analog tools.
- Oxford-Level Executive Communication: Stripping away corporate-speak, mastering concise writing, and conquering the fear of the first word.
- No Notes. No Net. No Problem: A proprietary method for building and delivering powerful, extemporaneous speeches using just a pen and a piece of paper.