Socrates in Lodge

Hosting informal discussions boosts lodge attendance, retention, and culture

EXORDIUM

Back in My Day and Other Terrible Facts

Masonic Lodge Retention is not a new problem. Just after I was raised in 1997, I attended lodge for the first time as a Mason. Like every other new brother, I was confused with the signs and words and did everything wrong during the opening ceremony. The initial business was interesting enough. We voted on a ballot. Then we had a speaker. He walked up and down the line, his voice wavering up and down as he explained why an Entered Apprentice wears an apron in the manner prescribed.

I was an entered apprentice, so I was on the edge of my seat. When he was finished, I had questions but before I could ask, the Master gaveled. The meeting proceeded to the next agenda bullet. Afterwards, as the lodge dispersed, I asked why there was no discussion and one of the officers told me: we don’t have time for that kind of thing.

This is an extreme example. And my memory isn’t exactly airtight 30 years after. But the scene is familiar to many of us. Sometimes, lodge culture stagnates. Sometimes, the Worshipful and Dais Officers fall into a habit of racing through a meeting as a defense against overtaxing the brethren’s time. The unfortunate effect is that this habit becomes culture and while the meeting is streamlined like a torpedo.

But it’s also stripped of any real meaning.

While a problem with Masonic Lodge Retention may be different for every lodge, I believe there is a solution that will work for any lodge. Over the past couple of years as I’ve had the remarkable pleasure of speaking in various lodges and Masonic conventions across the U.S. I’ve noticed a trend. Successful and viable lodges don’t rush through their meetings. They savor them. What’s the most common similarity among all these lodges? Discussion. They talk to each other about Masonry and it may be the most important part of every meeting.

NARRATIO & CONFIRMATIO

Meaning is What Men Show Up For.

Ask a new Mason why they joined out fraternity and among the stock answers there will often lurk a quiet response: to be around other men. Fellowship is the playing field of fraternity. Being in the same room as a bunch of other guys isn’t fellowship. I was on the train the other day with about fourteen other people. There wasn’t an ounce of fellowship. Not a speck.

Fellowship is not about proximity. It’s about conversation. People are hardwired for socializing and when small groups of people, of men, socialize regularly they develop a strong bond. Which matters. In “Group Cohesion: The Glue That Helps Teams Stick Together, researchers studied the mechanics of group unity. They observed a difference between task cohesion and social cohesion. The authors emphasized that while task execution keeps an organization functional, true retention, happiness, and long-term group survival rely heavily on social cohesion—the organic bonds formed when people interact in low-pressure, interpersonal settings.

Settings like a Masonic Lodge.

And it isn’t just the strength of the bonds formed by socializing, it’s how it develops a sense of belonging. This sense of belonging helps a member find meaning and purpose, two of the major requirements for happiness. Humans possess a pervasive evolutionary drive not just to co-exist, but to form lasting, positive, and meaningful bonds. Regular social engagement within a shared group setting gives individuals a sense of purpose, structured identity, and personal validation.

This kind of group participation fulfills an existential need to matter.

To nutshell these and other findings: provide a space wherein individuals may socialize and talk freely, develop deep bonds, and develop existential meaning and those individuals will return to that space over and over. I’m not saying it’s a magic bullet, but in the words of Shoeless Joe:

If you build it they will come

But how do you open your lodge to discussion? What should you talk about? How do you motivate the brethren to open up, and finally how does it work?

Not all lodges are comprised of men who are willing to talk—about anything. For so many reasons, some men don’t feel comfortable speaking up. After a discussion, they will follow along and nod, but it is unlikely they’ll add anything.

REFUTATIO

At first. But give them time…

Part of the magic of informal discussion is that it removes the pressure of the formality of speaking in lodge. These men who don’t speak up during a meeting may be silent because they feel giving their opinion is inappropriate or that it will take too long or it doesn’t belong in that space. But when you provide a space where they can just speak up without having to stand and be recognized, you remove that pressure and lower the threshold of participation. You’re giving them permission to join in. After they get used to the format, you may be surprised at what they have to say.

So what is an informal discussion and how does it work?

Formal discussion is what occurs in a tiled lodge. It is part of the scripted, enjoyable toasts of a festive board. You must be recognized. The master calls on you, then you speak.

Informal discussion is water-cooler style. You gather. You talk when you feel the urge. The conversation doesn’t follow a script or an agenda. It flows where the brethren take it.

It works like this:

You either close lodge, or break for refreshment. If you have a lobby or a lounge, if there’s a space filled with comfy couches and chairs, then gather together there. Or a place like that outside lodge if you can. If not, it’s a good idea to bring everyone down on the level, out of their office chairs, into some folding chairs on the lodge floor. Take your jackets off. Relax. Then, just start talking.

1. Don’t try to control the content

2. Watch for the brother who wants to talk but doesn’t want to interrupt

3. Watch for the brother who always goes long.

4. Don’t worry too much about time—except in the first couple of discussions.

5. Masonic rules still apply: no religion, no politics.

Tips and Tricks for kickstarting a lively discussion

Sometimes my presentations are met with polite applause then nothing. No questions. No response. Just crickets. While there’s a chance this is a result of a lack-luster presentation, it’s more likely a more common issue: nobody wants to go first. I’ve developed a couple of tricks to ensure this doesn’t happen. They’ll work for you too.

• The set-up: tap a loquacious brother with setting the topic. You know the guy in your lodge who isn’t at all worried about going first? Ask him to go first. Others will follow.
• Call on brothers by name and be specific: Don’t just say, what does everyone think about the working tools? Say, “Brother Tyler, you and I’ve talked about the working tools in the past. What’s your take on the 24 inch guage?

Measuring Success: Building an Enduring Lodge Culture

Measuring masonic lodge retention may inspire officers and committee members to focus on numbers. Don’t. Not at first. Focus instead on the hallmarks of a quality conversation. Look for laughter, for passion, and for focussed, active listening.

Listen for organic feedback. It’ll be hard to be patient about this, but I encourage you to not ask the brethren what they think about discussions. Instead, wait for them to tell you. And I don’t mean that they’ll actually tell you (though some will). I mean listen for mentions of the discussion in conversation, at dinner, in those moments when we’re assembling for lodge and signing the log, and donning our aprons. Look for mentions in your group chat. In email threads. Keep your ear open and wait.

Wait for how long?

This will hurt. But I am advising leaders adopting this strategy to hold informal discussion in lieu of education for as long as six months to a year. Pay attention to the discussions. Take notes. From these discussions, a kind of through-line of interest will become apparent. Ideas specific to the interests of your lodge will emerge. The brethren will return again and again to specific subjects and from these touch points, leadership can develop a plan for education that is tailored to the interests of the lodge.

After a time, you may notice the discussions are livelier, that there are more men in the room, that they are texting absent brethren for their opinions, for their input. You may feel a distinct energy. A vibe your lodge hasn’t had for a long time, if ever. That vibe is like a fingerprint for your membership’s group mind. It is the energy they’ve created, an energy they’ll look forward to, and an energy they will return to again and again.

Actionable Steps for Worshipful Masters and Dais Officers

1. Introduce the idea and add a planned break to the next agenda.
2. Break for refreshments and explain to the brethren you will spend that time in discussion. For the first one, a time limit is a good idea. Twenty to thirty minutes is enough.
3. Start with a very specific question: don’t ask what do you think of Freemasonry, ask How does our Fraternity affect a brother’s career?

PERORATIO

At the end of the day, a Masonic lodge isn’t an administrative hurdle to clear or a checklist to finish; it’s a living, breathing circle of brothers looking for a genuine connection. If your lodge meetings have started to feel more like a board meeting than a brotherhood, the remedy might just be as simple as pausing, pulling up a chair, and finally asking each other what we actually think. Have you tried introducing informal discussions or open forums in your lodge, and how did the brethren respond? Drop your thoughts, success stories, or reservations in the comments below.

Suggested FAQ Section (for the Bottom of the Page)

• Question: “What if our members just want to go home after a long meeting and won’t stay for informal discussions?”
• Answer Concept: Address meeting fatigue by experimenting with a pre-meeting social hour with light refreshments, or strictly tightening up the formal business portion to ensure members still have time and mental energy left for fellowship.

Citations

1. “Group Cohesion: The Glue That Helps Teams Stick Together”, Fontiers in Young Minds, by Mark Eys, Taylor Coleman, and Ryan Crickard.
2. “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation,” Psychological Bulletin, by Roy F. Baumeister and Mark R. Leary.